I look back over the years and conclude that majority of our resentments, arguments, anger, animosity, unpleasantness and much more feelings come to us because of money! Anything to do with money matters and boy oh boy, are we not in a mess!

I try to teach my family to be generous always, we try and we do fail when the temptation to have something more for ourselves is greater!

We talk about giving and if we do not get back,  that’s a bigger problem too! Our two boys just celebrated their birthdays and we had an upcoming birthday to which Cindy out of her goodness shared a gift and here is me asking the question “so did these people give our boys a gift?” I bit my tounge no sooner I said this and said how sorry I was for making that statement and said not to even discuss it but, no it did not stop there! It got ugly between us!

Family and money equals trauma! Even though i know that my parents can afford to get something for themselves, they do expect us to give it to them and it’s ok for them to expect. But inside me I get all upset and question why!

Today I read this verse that talks about compassion, patience, gentleness coupled with forgiveness. 

The problem is my expectations and my feelings towards the situation that leads to disliking the persons we give to or get very upset with those who expect us to give!

Forgiveness is a nice thing, we love to talk about it and say we will do it but deep inside me its not so! Forgiveness means ‘Release’ or ‘letting go’, this picture I took a few years back shows an Eagle trampling and holding on to it’s prey. It’s a victorious moment for him. It’s his survival. This should not the case for me, I don’t need to hold on,  as an individual i must not have hurts inside me or find fault when we give. I need to be a lot more gentle and learn to release and not hold on to anything in this desire of being generous!

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