Stubborn ++

There are two things that I know I do not listen to; drive slowly please, can you stop using your phone when driving? (Those who know me will probably say that I do not listen at all!!!!).

A much looked forward to moment for me at this time of our holidays is Christmas eve with the family with a nice hot soup and pot Roast, in the comfort of our cozy home! All is usually well until I do realize at some point of time in the day that my much looked forward to moment is not going to be a reality. This is eventually the time when body and mind begins to react negatively, hatred sets in as I am unable to fulfill the desires of my heart.

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 10:12 NIV

Everything that follows is done in bad taste, the mood is really bad and nothing positive steps out of my life. I become moody, angry, loud, grumpy, basically just pathetic. I know that my learning for a reasonable life does not call me to be this but totally the opposite. Why do I, despite knowing this, respond so negatively?

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.

Matthew 12:33 NIV

Finally at 5 pm on Christmas eve, we begin our 6 hour journey home. Definitely there will be no family dinner and no happy moments that I was dreaming of. Rains set in and traffic is horrendous. I have the responsibility of the family in the car, I will drive with care and be the right example but, with the stress levels increasing on the road combined with the Land Rover Discovery which comes with an impressive engine delivering effortless performance and sheer driving pleasure (and my first time experience!!!), all “hell breaks lose” and the “light goes off” in my life. Stress levels inside the car are raised, all efforts to talk to me is to no avail, I am enjoying the machine, enjoying breaking road rules and enjoying the outcome of the hate building inside me.

10 minutes prior to our arrival, I have to make a call as I had promised to call this individual at 10.45 pm. I took my phone out (whilst driving of course) and begin to search the number. I am driving up a winding road and as I continue to search the number, my son who was seated beside me shouts “WATCH OUT ” and grabs the steering wheel and avoids us going down the hill. I am not reacting, unmoved I still go ahead with dialing the number, ignoring all the comments being made.

For I knew how stubborn you were; your neck muscles were iron, your forehead was bronze.

Isaiah 48:4 NIV

As we settle down for the night and as we come together for family devotion, I am slowly beginning to come to my senses, I am now facing the reality and becoming aware of my madness.

Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.

Hosea 14:9

I realize how I have behaved. Not a good example on Christmas eve. I have to ask forgiveness from my family. I know I messed up. How can I stay calm in turbulent situations, how can I do this? I cannot stay stubborn can I?

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:3 NIV

These are daily battles we all encounter, I encounter them all the time, the choices I make either make it positive or negative. I need to strive each day for peace, it’s what I am called to be, if I cannot, how then can I fulfill my purpose?

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