Stubborn ++

There are two things that I know I do not listen to; drive slowly please, can you stop using your phone when driving? (Those who know me will probably say that I do not listen at all!!!!).

A much looked forward to moment for me at this time of our holidays is Christmas eve with the family with a nice hot soup and pot Roast, in the comfort of our cozy home! All is usually well until I do realize at some point of time in the day that my much looked forward to moment is not going to be a reality. This is eventually the time when body and mind begins to react negatively, hatred sets in as I am unable to fulfill the desires of my heart.

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

Proverbs 10:12 NIV

Everything that follows is done in bad taste, the mood is really bad and nothing positive steps out of my life. I become moody, angry, loud, grumpy, basically just pathetic. I know that my learning for a reasonable life does not call me to be this but totally the opposite. Why do I, despite knowing this, respond so negatively?

“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.

Matthew 12:33 NIV

Finally at 5 pm on Christmas eve, we begin our 6 hour journey home. Definitely there will be no family dinner and no happy moments that I was dreaming of. Rains set in and traffic is horrendous. I have the responsibility of the family in the car, I will drive with care and be the right example but, with the stress levels increasing on the road combined with the Land Rover Discovery which comes with an impressive engine delivering effortless performance and sheer driving pleasure (and my first time experience!!!), all “hell breaks lose” and the “light goes off” in my life. Stress levels inside the car are raised, all efforts to talk to me is to no avail, I am enjoying the machine, enjoying breaking road rules and enjoying the outcome of the hate building inside me.

10 minutes prior to our arrival, I have to make a call as I had promised to call this individual at 10.45 pm. I took my phone out (whilst driving of course) and begin to search the number. I am driving up a winding road and as I continue to search the number, my son who was seated beside me shouts “WATCH OUT ” and grabs the steering wheel and avoids us going down the hill. I am not reacting, unmoved I still go ahead with dialing the number, ignoring all the comments being made.

For I knew how stubborn you were; your neck muscles were iron, your forehead was bronze.

Isaiah 48:4 NIV

As we settle down for the night and as we come together for family devotion, I am slowly beginning to come to my senses, I am now facing the reality and becoming aware of my madness.

Who is wise? Let them realize these things. Who is discerning? Let them understand. The ways of the Lord are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.

Hosea 14:9

I realize how I have behaved. Not a good example on Christmas eve. I have to ask forgiveness from my family. I know I messed up. How can I stay calm in turbulent situations, how can I do this? I cannot stay stubborn can I?

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:3 NIV

These are daily battles we all encounter, I encounter them all the time, the choices I make either make it positive or negative. I need to strive each day for peace, it’s what I am called to be, if I cannot, how then can I fulfill my purpose?

Tried a Stress Test?

I ask myself what is wealth if acquired at the cost of my health, what if I experience untimely death? But despite asking this, I just carry on and I don’t give it much thought!

A friend needed medical attention and promised me that the specialist will be met on Saturday but, with a few excuses, the appointment gets pushed under the carpet for perfect reasons! I told my friend that it seems you just don’t care! My comment only distanced my friendship, I am obviously not minding my own business right!

We do this all the time, our friends and family willfully enter jobs and we take on responsibilities where the health hazards are far too obvious to ignore. We are not only stressed-out but also close to being burned-out by the demands of our work and other responsibilities. All this for trying to achieve what WE think we need or what WE think is best for us! It might seem impressive that we are willing to pay the price of sacrifice, but do we ever get it that we will always reaps what we sow!

I came across this test, it opened my heart to an honest reality, it required that i have to be honest with my answers! I took the test, I encourage you to take it and see for yourself! Take Test!


I know this for sure, Neglect my body and one day it shall surely fail me! The world pushes me to do so much more that I just do not care about my own self……

If I neglect my family, one day it will be doubly hard to get the loyalty back from my family. I know this but……

Then, this one is a bit of a non considerrant – Neglect God and one day I will be too hard-skinned to hear His voice……

I think of all this and ask myself, Is it (really) possible to achieve success by maintaining a healthy balance of life’s crazy demands?

My Physical Reality: I read the Gospel accounts and see just how physically strenuous this persons ministry was. He hopped from one town to another-on foot! (when was the last time we walked to visit anyone!) He exchanged insights with the best of the scholars of His day. He was Physically ready!

I am mindful of the deeper truth: that my body is not my own and that I have been bought with a price! The only fitting response would be to glorify God with my body!

My Mental Reality: The mind is so powerful that what I think affects my direction in life. Too much knowledge makes me very proud and arrogant to the point that I become unreceptive to the real truth. The deeper truth is that the enemy’s first plan of attack is to influence my mind! I honestly need to renew my mind so that I can be transformed and come to know the will of God.

My Relational Reality:  I cannot escape relationships because I was created for relationships! The hard part is that relational health does not only mean that I need to be kind to the people I like, but it is also understanding and relating well with people from all walks of life. Eeehh?

My Emotional Reality: And where there are relationships, there are emotions! Emotions can either blind me or lead me to the truth, it can destroy or build relationships, it can deplete or uplift my physical well-being, it can paralyze or motivate me to achieve great things. Emotions are powerful, but I am very clear, it does not need to control me!

My Spiritual Reality: I can be an expert in all of the above  but what will this do to me if I am not tuned and aligned? I am certain that the central aspect of my growth are influenced by my spiritual health that enables me to be an Intellectual individual, have the right Personality, be Gifted to do what is good and to have the right Emotions. It also molds me to have the right Values, Attitudes, Behaviors and Outlook to life. I know it but , at times, I do not connect to the best resource I have.

I need help, I cannot do this alone and my accountability partner always is my spouse, she can help me check on my progress and encourages me when I feel like giving up. We are called to Challenge each other and encourage each other!