My mind wonders to some events since last Sunday, many things crop up, mainly negative, and i can dwell on them for long periods.
I am pulled back into the present, I fall back into the past, the ‘battle of the negatives’ continues until I am reminded of the most impactful ‘lockdown’ verse I discovered:
I struggle to focus on what is Excellent or Praiseworthy. My thoughts continue to dwell on what’s not true, ugly, hurtful, gossip, faults, and so much more. I don’t know about how you feel and, I keep ask myself WHY do I allow negative thoughts to come into my mind?
It is in these dark moments that I begin my internal battles. Yes, the voice keeps reminding me “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life, I’ll get you out of any trouble (and all those negative thoughts). I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know me and, trust me. Call me and I’ll answer you, I will be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party. I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation!” 1
The most difficult choice for me is to ‘action the positive‘. Learning is a personal matter, we learn what’s right in life, and yet, I am unable to think positively, WHY? If I don’t know what I’m doing, I know I can pray to the my Father. I know He loves to help. I will get His help, I must ask boldly, believing, without a second thought. And this is when doubt sets in, people like me who “worry our prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. “Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open”. Most often than not, in doubt.2
I do think and ask the question if I will get anywhere in this if I learn all the right words but never do anything about it? Yes, I want to be positive, I am learning all the right things to do and I do ‘preach’ about it too. Do I sincerely believe that merely talking about faith indicates that I really have it? Isn’t it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense?3
And so now I pause, OK Dil, let’s talk about what was excellent and praiseworthy since last Sunday?
I am thinking….
I must stay focused, Excellent and Praiseworthy please……
I begin to see it unfold, oh yes, yes, yes! Did we honestly do this, oh wow, Praise God indeed, so much positives……oh boy, its amazing!