People kept asking us before the event and our answer was ‘we have no idea what you are talking about’!
A month later and people ask us the same question, and the story is changing, signs of a ‘syndrome’ exists!!
AI explains it quite nicely – Empty Nest syndrome describes the feelings of loneliness, sadness, loss, and grief. This often happens when children start their own families. While not a clinical diagnosis, it’s a real emotional phase. It reflects an emotional shift in a parent’s role and identity. There is a loss of purpose and a quiet household. It’s a normal part of adjusting to a new chapter in life.
The ‘to-be married’ couple requested me to make a speech. I will give the speech after the wedding ceremony. I thought through this for weeks and prayed for guidance and wisdom from above.
The ceremony was simple and sweet, everyone was enjoying and celebrating the special moment. It was my turn to speak:
Today, we are walking into this place with a testimony. We will be walking out with a song of victory!
We walked into this place. We are here to celebrate with Fiona and Athaiah. We celebrate with everyone near and dear to each of us. We value everyone here and are truly blessed with your loving presence.
After this wonderful celebration, Cindy and I will walk out of this place. We will enter an empty home. Athaiah will not be physically there, like he was for the past 22 years. We will be walking into a ‘sacred and tender turning point’ in our lives. After 25 years of parenting, our shared focus will need to shift. We will experience God-given opportunities to rediscover each other, not as parents but as partners. We will also reconnect as companions and beloved. We need to and must fall in love all over again. This will be our song of victory!
When our family and friends heard from us the exciting news that ‘another’ wedding was happening….., ‘well….sooner than I personally imagined it would happen!’, everyone asked us this question- “ohhh really, how exciting….how old is he, and how old is she….” and when we answered this question, eyes popped, deep breaths were taken, “oh my God, they are soooo young….”
A dear loved family member even threatened to ‘hang’ our son on a door peg! The news was too soon and too much to handle…..!!
Today, Cindy and I are rising up with a new authority because we’ve seen God’s faithfulness. Psalm 145: 13
Fiona & Athaiah are young in the eyes of many. They chose to honor God and live obediently as God desired them to be. You wonder why I am speaking in riddles. It is because they could have ‘lived together as girlfriend and boyfriend’. They could have figured out if this is the decision they wanted to make. Yet, they chose to be obedient, follow the right teaching and listen to the voice of their ‘father’, not ‘Dada’! 1 Thes 4:3
As we celebrate with Fiona and Athaiah, we can only be reminded of something important. In every high and every low of our journey to this special day, our God never left us without hope. HE was good. HE is good right now. We have surely seen HIS faithfulness. 1 John 5: 14-15
Fiona and Athaiah, you both have witnessed God’s goodness. You have seen God’s strength. You experienced His consistency, His love, His healing, and His saving grace. You both have seen it within our church family and within our personal lives. Be confident that you will always see God’s Goodness and His faithfulness again and again. Make Him be your first, and your everything as you step into this new and exciting season. Psalm 27: 13-14. Proverbs 16:3
May the good Lord go before you. You have placed your lives at His Alter. Romans 12:1-2
The fun has dwindled. The family support from Australia and Dubai have returned to their own lives to manage. We must now work towards moving on!
There is an emotional impact. There is a sense of having lost our purpose and identity after children leave home. My prayer and wish was to work hard to support the boys’ education. My struggle is how to shift from actively working hard for my children. I need to shift this focus to ourselves. We must also thinking about how we can help others. This to me requires a personal redefinition and adjustment.
For myself, I ask myself if I have lost my passion to work? The answer is clearly NO! My passion will surely increase. The challenge I have is as to how will Cindy manage. Her life has been revolved around bringing up our sons and she has been totally devoted to them. I need to help her rediscover purpose now that she has not much choice but having only me!
Our priority is to invest time and energy in our marriage. We need to view this period as a new beginning rather than an ending. We need to focus on individual and joint goals, and we must enjoy the journey each day. This is an intentional effort and we both must work at it to make it work.
We will strengthen our connections with our friends. The bible reminds us that faithful friends give vital support, companionship, and encouragement, much like family. Our friendships should challenge each other to become better people. Friends can enrich our lives! Friends still are not a replacement for God’s love and perfect friendship!! Proverbs 17:24, 18:24
The syndrome is not ‘clinical’. We are excited to work through the emotions. We aim to make the best of what the Lord has in store, His PERFECT WILL for us. We want to Rejoice, be Thankful and be a prayerful always!
Here is a link to the wedding pictures of Athaiah & Fiona! –https://1drv.ms/a/c/82502b927c704c6a/Evg9gQreTtxFuvRH3yzXeNUBQ_KVQYeZyYZbVCwxPm6SHg?e=abi2sW
INSPIRE 